Gum

As I was walking with one of my friends today, I noticed that there was something unusual about the way that my foot was sticking to the ground. I stopped, and realized that I had stepped in a massive piece of gum, not your average sized piece of gum, but a HUGE piece. I mean, this person must have wadded up almost 2 packages of Bubble Yum and then mixed it with a few of those nasty Halloween gums that no one likes, chewed on it and spit it right where I was walking.

No idea how I didn’t see it. My shoe found it though. Good shoe.

Anyway, the gum wasn’t the only thing that was stuck at the bottom of my shoe. Along with the gum I was carrying several large rocks, leaves, a foot of dental floss (no joke, dental floss), sand (I’m in Tucson, there’s a lot of sand), and hair that I can only assume was human. The floss was having fun and decided to start climbing to the top of the shoe and the gum decided to have a party and decided to move to the back of my foot. This awesome pile of nasty junk was so huge that it covered the entire bottom of my shoe, like COVERED, from front to back. I felt like the Blob had decided to take over the world and I was the first victim.

So, I stared at the huge mass of stuff on my shoe for a split second, thought about playing it cool, screamed, and then proceeded to dance around trying to get the gum off of my shoe. Luckily it was right next to a busy road in between class on campus at the UA. I think that many were trying to figure out why this weird college kid was dancing the week before finals (usually it happens the week after). I’m actually pretty sure they were impressed with my dancing skills.

Back to the horror story:

The 95 degree weather did wonders for the easiness of getting the gum off. It sort of spread like a virus and started attacking me.

After I bravely fought off the gum (I won), and got rid of the hair, floss/string stuff, and the rocks, I proceeded to walk to class, and on the way back, a grumpy golf cart driver swore at me as I walked across the street. I think he got even madder (is it more mad? Or madder? Matter? Or madderer?) when I laughed at him. I mean, I had just saved the world, and he was getting mad at me. Punk.

I hope he steps in some gum.

:)