Super Powers

As I sit here contemplating the vast enormities of the universe, thinking thought provoking and intellectually pleasing thoughts like—Why did I just shoved a chicken pot pie in my mouth knowing that it had just come out of the microwave and was probably going to light my tongue on fire? (which it did), Why is there a random big guy on my roommate’s computer chatting on Facebook? or –Why did a girl just come screaming into my house being chased by a boy with ground up ice from her freezer? . . . the world may never know.

But the real question, How do I get that really cute girl that I haven’t talked to yet to notice me?

Answer: Duh. Super powers.

I mean, it worked for Spiderman, right?

Wouldn’t it be cool to have super powers? I guess it’s every nerd's dream to have some kind of super power. You know, wake up and accidentally find out you have been bit by a gamma radiated cockroach that somehow turned you into a super-buff stud with laser-vision and mind reading capabilities.

Yeah, that would rock. Ok, minus the getting bit by a cockroach, that would stink. Ew.

Ok, so I’ll ditch the cockroach, maybe it would be ok to have a huge giant with a beard show up at my front door and tell me that I was actually from a different planet and had to go to school to learn how to become a Jedi , then find out that there are actually split realities and I need to find a really sharp spork that lets me cut into other universes.

And then I somehow save the world. And then that cute girl would notice me.

Or, I could just go talk to her I guess.

Do cockroaches bite?